Monday, July 05, 2004


i talk lots. always have.

in primary school, each and every report card featured a variaton of "carolin is an exceptional, bright, diligent student. she is articulate and well spoken. she should, however, learn when to stop talking so that others can voice their views as well."
if you've ever met me in real life, you'll know that the only time i don't talk is when i've just fallen asleep in the middle of conversation. enjoy those precious moments of silence moments after i`ve fallen asleep. they don't last that long: i talk in my sleep, too.

over the last few years though, i've changed.
i got depressed and i got quiet. i shut up for a whole year, really, the only place i ever spoke being my online diary at while it was the place where i talked the most, whined, raved, cried, even there, i fabricated an alternate reality in a way, because reality simply sucked too much.

i'm not depressed anymore, and i don't present an alternate reality in my online writings anymore, but when there are things on my mind, i still stop talking, or at least i say less; a lot less. this blog is living proof: extensive writing, extensive breaks.

most of the time when caro goes quiet, something's up.

and that's the case right now.
something's up, and i need to think and deal and figure out what's right and what's wrong and what i should do and what will make me happy in the long run and whether wait and see is a good approach, ever, or not.
it's all a bit strange and i just don't feel like writing about all that right now. not just because this is online and public. i'm just very much over creating an alternate reality, so i won't write about things when something entirely different is on my mind.
on top of that, i've got a cartel & competition law exam coming up friday, and a workshop on licensing agreements on friday and saturday, which all needs to be well prepared. and the tour is on, too.

should i feel the need to write, i will. today, i don't really, and i haven't this weekend, even though i tried. this week, i'll quite likely be spending time with my law books, watching lance on a bike,getting sweaty and thinking at the gym, and that should be enough for now.

that's a lot of stuff anyway, isn't it?

sidenote: greece won, which rocks, rocks, rocks. it makes me wonder though, whether the olympics will happen in 40 days time. they'll be partying so hard that they'll never finish those leftover stadiums or rehearse the opening ceremony. he.

also: what happens at the iraq sovereignity party? - you tell your guest they are in charge, but they can't drink without permission."