Wednesday, August 06, 2003

i bought a moleskine yesterday. a5, ruled. an expensive beautiful piece of stationary art it is, awaiting words and ideas to be expressed between its pages.

it's going to be my first paper diary in years, 4 years, or 5, i am not so sure.

it will be an experiment to write on paper again. it currently feels like i will take a break from writing online for a while.
how long, i can't say. maybe a few days. or a few weeks. - quite likely not for good though: this got so important over the years, i don't think i'll quit completely, ever. but right now, i need to take stock and find words again, in my mother tongue, on paper, where only dirk and i will read them. there has been change, so much change these last months, this year, that i need my thoughts for myself, and myself alone, without an audience besides dirk.

it hasn't felt quite right to write here for a while now. i've been inspirationless. i don't like the semi-publicity of this at the moment. i don't like that evan started reading after ignoring it for years. overall it just doesn't feel like it used to, to write here. i want to remember and re-discover the joy of writing and chronicling, i want to be honest, and i think it will have to be the old fashioned way, slow writing, with a pen, and paper.

this is not goodbye (yet).
but this onlinething has got competition now, my lovely moleskine, still virginal and empty. so very much unlike this thing here.