Friday, April 04, 2003

here in caroville, we're a bit tired and trying to avoid self-pity, which is so embarrasing when the reason for feeling poor has been self induced.
i'm feeling great, despite being tired (as one is after 2 hours of sleep, - a 2 hour afternoon nap can't make up for a whole night, i guess) and drained by whatever is still left of this hangover of mine.

tina and i had a fabulous time last night:
on top of a brillant yoga class during which i managed to do a headstand, in the middle of the room, and hold it, came episode #3 of the thornbirds, plenty of vino, and above all, lots and lots of high quality girl talk.
for the uninitiated: episode 3 is the best of the series, mainly because it's the culmination point of ralph (the priest) and meggie's relationship. and because those sex scenes were the first i ever saw on the telly i guess. and they are actually not that bad, either.

tina and i squealed with delight at some of the overly dramatic scenes and squealed some more when ralph finally breaks his vows and "turns into a real man" when he has has sex with meggie and talks about finally feeling "whole" during afterglow.
you know, that's what i want, soppy, overly romantic that i am: sex as the union of two people, despite all odds.

tina and i, we had an extraordinary amount of red wine, both during and after the episode, and when the vino was gone, proceeded to salvage the last alcoholic beverages in my fridge, too, a process during which we realised that "rigo" by bacardi is nothing but a poor cocktail substitute for bogans and white trash, and a way to seduce young-uns to consume booze.
we talked until about 4 in the morning, both crawled into my bed, and once we finally managed to stop talking, slept. tina for quite a while, me only until 5am, when i had to get up for a scheduled scarleteen staff discussion. i wonder how i managed to type coherently, but i did, and it was a fruitful, worthy discussion. i crawled back into bed and slept another hour till i had to get up for therapy.
took quite a bit of effort to get going: there's a rule to not go to therapy intoxicated, so i showered till no hot water was left and until i felt i could think straight, put on make-up and started to feel at least sort-of alright again.
therapy was quite okay, even though i am still not sure -as mentioned before- it's actually useful to talk about the boy at the moment, with anyone. i can't say i enjoy someone basically telling me i deserve better, and that he thinks evan is doing this because he's under too much pressure to really leave me, for an hour a week. i still got my mind set on giving the boy some slack for now, because this is a major life change for him, and wait and see what happens when he comes over in summer and then we'll take it from there. he started looking at flights this week, too. which is good.

after therapy, tina and i brunched extensively for hours at my place, and then shopped a bit and just had an overall lovely girl time, which i missed so much, both in general, and specifically with her, too. so silly that we split for 3 years, about nothing (aka a bloke). we always were each others support nets, and when we went our own ways, both crashed. here's to hoping we can get back on track together, too.
not sleeping alone was nice, too, even though it was tina (aka a girl, who i like, but not in that way, most of the time), and there was hence little cuddling. no matter what, bed company is lovely, and having someone there for brekkie was, too. so all was good and splendid, and an enjoyable time was had by all. it feels like our friendship is fully back on track, which is so good for my sanity and happiness and everything.

i tried to be efficient this afternoon, but to no avail, so i went to bed, and felt good about that, too, and woke up when the boy called, which was cool, too.
overall, i'm tired, and hangovered (hmmmm.. aspirin and diet coke with lemon -the best ever- is a good relief, i'm just discovering) but awfully, awfully happy and levelled and just content with life. all very much needed, that trashy tv and vino and girl talk.

now food. not because i'm terribly hungry, but because my stomach is still all fuzzy, and because an old fashioned (not terribly healthy, but great) comfort food dinner of fish fingers, new potatoes and spinach to be followed by häagen dasz macadamia nut brittle will make life even better.