Saturday, November 09, 2002

today has passed me by, completely.

was quite reluctant to get going this morning - it was just too warm and cosy in my bed, and too grey, rainy and stormy outside. -a perfect day for fall coziness of the couply kind - if evan had been here, the ideal thing to do would have been to spend a good part of the day between the sheets with him (admittedly, not just because of the weather, but also because of my currently rather lively libido, which has to find relief with my gigolo for just 31 more days) and the rest of the day snuggling up in a cafe, cooking a decent dinner together and seeing a movie or so.
miss him a lot today - partly because our phone contact has been a bit less frequent and extensive than usual - he's currently in merimbula, where there's no landline - and calling an aussie mobile is 11 times more expensive than calling an aussie landline. duh.
but we'll manage with calls just every other day for another week, no doubt about it. we managed without calls for a lot longer while he was on bathurst island (nt) last year, after all. - it just makes me realize (yet again), how much more enjoyable my life is with input by him , preferably real life involvement,- but even the phone call variety makes a difference.
am so much looking forward to leaving next month - still a bit surreal that i will be back in australia already; considering how little has happened since i returned, and how little will (most likely) happen in the next 5 weeks, it hardly seems worth it that i bothered to return at all. can blame myself for it, of course - after all, i do little against my attitude that life over here sucks, and that all i have to do is get my matters straightened and then leave for good.


once i managed to drag myself out into the world around noon today, i did some minor shopping and then went to the gym, where i spend more than 2 hours sweating and getting through torturous exercises by visualising myself in a bikini. - felt excellent afterwards.

and that was my one achievement of the day, really. the afternoon just flew by over a late (and much needed) lunch, saturday arvo telly (dawsons's creek, which made me shudder in disgust about the negative attitude towards sex as presented in today's episode and family law. yes, i am a pathetic thing without a life.) and wasting time online, catching up with a few blogs i hadn't checked for ages. also need to write several long overdue email and spend some time at scarleteen. have been so bad at keeping online connections at the moment...
also need to write a few thousand words for my novel - was quite unproductive both yesterday and today because the end of a relationship that i imagined has been quite difficult to put into words so that it makes some sort of sense. a very constructeded part of the story, but very much necessary so that that character can get a lifecrisis and come out of it improved. still haven't given up on my goal of 16.000 by tomorrow night, specifically before i leave the house to see andre eisermann, which would be sort of 8pm-ish. quite a goal, indeed, considering i also want to spend another 2 hours at the gym in the morning.

late night writing session, here i come.