Thursday, October 17, 2002

fab news today:
a friend of mine from melbourne got engaged to his girlfriend last weekend, they plan to get married next june
am extremely and utterly happy for them, they are such a close, connected, loving couple, it's breathtaking. always makes me happy to see people like them commit to each other, being sure they have met their life partner.

got a bit sad though, because of these news this afternoon, quite suddenly, and pondered why that happened. it's easy: i want to be with the one person who i feel is my life partner, too, and want that right now. not in a few months, or next year.

feel disconnected and alone, and hate working in the bookshop, and being alone in this big dark house with the cat who hates me.
got enough money from the shop that i could afford to head to the airport tonight. it't tempting. would mean though, that i'd never have any contact with my family ever again, which -as much as i sometimes dislike them- would probably make me need a few more years of therapy.