Tuesday, July 23, 2002

i'm happy, and nervous, and excited.

my suitcase is closed (blessed be the manufacturers of samsonite suitcases, for making such spacious suitcases), everything is organised, all i got to do is change into my travel clothes, close the windows and my balcony door, and call a cab to the train station.
i still have this surreal feeling: it all has been going so well these past days that i still fear that something terrible *has* to happen to ruin it all.

yesterday -like sunday- was just perfect. worked out in the morning, met tina around noon and spend the rest of the day with her. it was lovely, our last day as galpals living in the same country. shopped for some more pressies (and found perfect stuff for evan's siblings) and went to the laundromat, where i did my laundry and where we partied a wee bit with dieter and marco (who let me do my washing for free, quite amazing), having champagne and fabulous real italian espresso and talking. will be strange to go there without tina. it won't quite be the same.

finished the day with girly talk on the balcony and doing pedicures, and when we said goodbye, and hugged and kissed and she left, i started to feel what it will be like without her. this will be a different city. this will be a different life.
her characteristic ringing at my door (3 short sharp rings) won't let me know it's her and make me open the door even if i didn't feel like seeing anyone. we won't be lying on the floor in bodystyling class anymore, laughing about the ridiculous excercises. we won't be finishing each others sentences every day, and understand each other with nothing but a sideways glance.
i'll miss her, but understand why she's leaving and wish her nothing but the best for her re-start in austria.

however, i really don't want to be gloomy. i'll be seeing evan in little more than 30 hours. i'll be on my way in little more than an hour.
it's breathtakingly exciting.

last night, i hardly slept: woke up at 3am, tried to sleep until 5am, until i decided that it wasn't going to work anyway, so i got up instead and started cleaning my kitchen and bathroom instead. that lack of sleep should help squash any flight induced insomnia.
this morning, i was literally shaking with excitement and nervousness, but that has thankfully faded.

i should be a pro. i should take this plane trip halfway round the world as easily as i take the train to go home; because my real home is where evan is, after all. but i just can't take it as easy: this is such a big thing, that i can't pretend i'm not as excited as i am.
and good grace. am i excited.

maybe more from singapore.
otherwise: see you from melbourne.