i am standing in front of this stupid pc, crying, because evan send me the perfect email, the right words, as his reaction to the cryptric message regarding plane ticket & gomez that i left on his machine earlier today.

"will your plane arrive later than expected? if so, don't stress. it's not tragic. sure it would have been nice to see gomez with you, but as long as you come, it really doesn't matter. I'd have to find a new birthday present for you, but a few hours in a large bed would suffice, wouldn't they?(...)
love you, no matter whether you arrive at 6pm, 10pm or at 3am. most important thing is that you arrive, and arrive happy and whole.

he's perfect, i tell you.
second time i cry today because of what i feel for him. around noon, while driving from the diy store to the carpenter, "private emotion" by ricky martin came on at bfbs, the terrible song used as the soundtrack to our tv appearance, but i just couldn't help but think about how fucking awesome it is, that scene, the camera circling us while we kiss in that cinema, both of us really happy and beaming and evans hand ruffling my hair shining brightly in the camera light. :)

i'm a lucky girl, and i just shouldn't forget how fabulous he is, my boy. how blessed i am to have him in my life and love him and be loved by him.