Sunday, October 21, 2001

Am getting through the weekend.

"You'd be better off with someone who was closer to you."

This felt odd for a moment, even though I know it wasn't meant to feel that way and was more of a sign that he wished he could help more. But still.
I am not sure whether that would be the case at all. If he (or anyone else) we're here, I'd probably send him off and keep him away from the RealMeā„¢, just like I keep everyone around me away from what's happening in my head. Apart from him, and some NonRealLifeā„¢ people, that is. I don't even tell Dr.K the whole truth, which sure is counterproductie and sabotaging this whole therapy thing.

Getting through the weekend, am overcompensating in advance by cleaning the car, cleaning the house, helping Fabian with his CV whatnot. Me, the good productive well functioning member of this family. Oh well.

#1 All this cleaning hasn't been good for my soul yet.
#2 I simply should NEVER listen to BFBS when "Calling Oman" or "Calling the Balkans" are on. Never. Tune in Saturday and Sunday from 12-2pm CET. It really is that sobby and horrid. Even when they don't play Richard Marx. Those kids and wifes with their "Daddy come home. Love ya" messages in a nice thick brit accent get to me when I am in such a sad and lonely state.