Tuesday, July 17, 2001

you only hide
~something for kate~

so i keep watch
and you keep breaking
breaking formation to become
someone else
and your eyes become corridors
where i wander with a candle
calling out to you

and you only hide
because you know i'll find you

you say you just want to feel
the way you used to feel
the way you should feel
and i wander through
the lost city of you

and you only hide because you know i'll find you

Reminds me very much of what I felt like last year. Just that I was the one hiding, wanting to be found. Sometimes, that is.

Something for Kate has finally put the lyrics for all their songs back online. And I finally do not just have to guess and make up words from misheard lyrics. :). Joked about just that with Ev today, actually.

We chatted on the phone, and it was relationship comfort at it's best. We're so happy and close these days, it's shocking. It's peaceful and comforting.
What I miss most at the moment, is surrendering and granting him unlimited access to me. It sounds bizarre, really, saying it that way, but I just miss having someone touch me, for his and my pleasure. I miss being touched, and feeling so good that I can let him touch me whenever he wants it.
I miss that the most.

My mind is playing weird tricks with me these days because of a lack of touch, I guess. I can't get several scenarios out of my head. What it's like to bury my face between his shoulder and neck and smell him. What having him in my mouth is like. What sleeping next to him is like. What he feels like next to me and what I feel like next to him.

I love this man, really. And I would so want to have him here with me right now.