Sunday, July 22, 2001

Don't have much to say about the day, really. It was nice and slow and warm.

I slept for a chunk of the afternoon and watched the tour, rather sleepily. It was a nice, if not too exciting stage - Lance is leading quite comfortably by 5 minutes and coming in at the exact same time as Ullrich. Didn't open the door when Britta rang at my door (and stood in the backyard). I really couldn't be bothered. I just can not stand her at the moment. At all. Should give her a call sometime at the beginning of the week. Just not now.

Anyway. The day just passed, and was quite nice the way it was. If slow. Re-opened the boards, and thankfully, postings have been very slow so far, too. Wonder when Heather will be back, missed her these past few days and hope she had a blast in NYC. Am jealous she prolly got to shoot with James from Nawa Shibari. Sigh.

Oh well.

Had a lovely little phoen call with Ev, fresh from Sydney. He seemed very tired and slightly drained for he had soem odd argument with Jill while there, and they didn't resolve it. Gah. Happens with Jill easily, you part in tension and a day and a phone call later, all is well again. Anyway. Ev nonetheless seemed to have had a nice time up there, and felt the usual down thing on return to Melbourne; not because of Melbourne, but because of the nice Sydneysiders. Oh well.
Talking was nice, and we still are all sweet and good and happy.

My right hip hurts, and I wonder whether it's just from that odd leg lift excercise we did this morn, lying on the step. Hmph. Could be a developing bruise on my hipbone. Which wouldn't be half as bad - proof rather, that I have visible, defined hip bones, *lol*.

In general, I really want to keep this working out thing going as intensely as it is.
Right now, the defining thought in my head is:"If I don't get my ass into shape now, I never will". I just have this feeling that now is the time, really, to make a change, and to stick with it this time, too.
I managed the complete physical overhaul once before, in 1998, but then came my depression and then the meds and that combo made me sluggish and tired and motivationless and loose the nice shoulders that I had.

I really have this feeling that I can do this. That I can get fitter and feel better and whatever else. I am in better shape than at the beginning of the year already, and these last few weeks have given me lots. But I want more.
I can't get the thought out of my head that I want to try cycling for real. Not race cycling, but just good decent cycling to be fit and get around and be in nature, on a light MTB maybe (not the one that I have, I mean).
I think as a first step, I'll try to work lots on the spinning bike at the gym, just to see whether I feel good while cycling lots and using it to get fit. And to see whether my bum can handle it, too.
In the past, I really suffered after spinning lessons, but with my increased training and the great instructions by Marcus, my technique has gotten better, my hips are steadier and don't wobble and I hence do not bounce around and bruise myself in areas where brusies hurt.

Mom got me The Lance Armstrong Performance Program and it's a good basic read. If very basic. And the translation just sucks, IMHO.
I think I shall use the 7 week program in there as a start and try it out on the spinning bike. Even though that sure means I can not work with distances and gears, but just with resistance, time, heartbeat and cadence. Which reminds me that I need a heart monitor. Have wanted one for years - I know for a fact that I often work with too much pressure. Hmph. I should prolly go and see whether I can find a nice, not too expensive one at the gym. - And should rent some to try out what I need.

I really want to be serious about this. I need to be serious about it. It's my life, and my body and my health and my wellbeing.

Enough dramatic quotes for the day. Time for bed, I think.