Thursday, February 17, 2005

fucking hell.

you know, the only horoscopes i ever read are the ones rob breszy at freewillastrology does.

somehow i hadn't done so these past weeks.
i did just a minute ago. my response was a hearfelt "woah".

week of february 3rd
what do you say we liberate you from conventions that drag you down? and wean you from customs that steal your joy? it's a perfect moment to break with all the useless, burdensome, energy-sapping aspects of the past.[...]

week of february 10th
happy valentine daze, cancerian! as i meditated on what advice might purify and supercharge your love life, i got to thinking about a statement attributed to french poet paul valery. "love is being stupid together," he said. there's an element of truth to this notion, but it's too corny and degenerate for my tastes. i prefer to focus on a more interesting and complete truth, which is this: real love is being smart together. if you weave your destiny together with another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your perceptions, and boost your iq. your relationship should be a crucible in which you deepen your understanding of the way the world works. if you can't share your love with such a person this week, don't share your love with anyone.

week of february 17th
i was meditating on your horoscope as i rode my bike up the hill in a misty rain. "give me a sign," i prayed to the grey-yellow sky. "what do cancerians need to know?" as i pedaled over the last hump and reached the top, a spectacular response materialized--a five-alarm fire of a rainbow. to my further amazement, i saw where one end of it landed: on the rusty metal roof of a shack in a horse pasture not too far away. i threw down my bike and dashed to it. there were slats missing in the shack's walls, so i could peer inside. i saw a black metal safe in the middle of the room, surrounded by wisps of straw and chained to a u-shaped pipe that disappeared into the floor. i knew i had obtained the oracle you needed--a rough metaphor for the uncanny fate awaiting you. my intuition told me there'll be one difference between my experience and yours: whereas i had no legal right to whatever was in the safe, you can and should gain access to the storehouse you find.

for further freakiness, continue on and read the ones for pisces.
rob breszy, i don't know how you do it, but you do it perfectly. and you rock.