Friday, August 13, 2004

this is life right now.

i saw dubya and his wife on larry king today.
he said "you bet" 9 times and seemed generally incapable of coherent speech, as usual.
watching him wrestle with the english language was a whole lot like watching a natural disaster happening.

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"teenage girls
with no life experiences
and boys who
call themselves punk
are on my radio
singing about
how much pain they've endured
and how hard
their lives are"


poem 92 by damien echols (thanks, margaret cho, for making damien heard)

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for the past few weeks, i've been following how eric iv, son of eric iii from snowdeal.org is doing.

he's a micropreemie, born on july 4th at 24 weeks, and he seems to be a fighter, that wee one.
to show support for eric iv and his parents eric iii and kris, send them a postcard.

wouldn't you like to get some mail when in hospital for at least three months?

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it's time for some rather minor, non-life-changing decisions right now, that are surprisingly hard to decide.

we're should we hike, dirk and i? we thought about the vosges. we thought about a 5 day trek through the blackforest. we thought about berner oberland in switzerland. we thought about the allgäuer alps.

should it be the alps, after all? do i have the money? should i join the dav to save money in the long run? (50% discount at most huts!) am i fit enough, able to tolerate heights well enough? is this what i want?

money is constantly on my mind. lack of, rather.

my computer is about to die. my bike died last week.
as strange as it sounds, the latter is actually more urgent.

i can live with internet cafes, as i have for the past few weeks. i simply can not live without a bike to get around on. i haven't bought a bike in more than 10 years, and ye olde trekking bike is now so seriously fucked up (it was only fucked up, until now), that repairing it would be more than 150€, and even after that, the bike shop bloke told me, it would still be pretty much fucked up.

i have been looking around, in dirks company, and it's hard when there's a part of me that's screaming "roadracing bike! yes! yes! yes! lance! yes!" when at the bike shop, while another part of me knows that i need something more flexible, more adaptable to my daily needs, something whose tires are a bit broader than the tram tracks in the city, something whose tires won't go flat at the first encounter with a piece of glass, something that might be able to hold a bit of luggage every once in a while. oh, and something that's actually affordable.
trek actually does a racing bike that can travel with luggage. can i afford it? quite likely: nope.

i long for a racing bike, i really do.
or at least a fitness bike (i.e. a racing frame with trekking handlebars). or something. the smart alternative would be a trecking/mountain biking hybrid. but they are so lame. and i never go downhill anyway.

there is a trek hybrid that i can afford, actually. hmmm. *swoon*
duh.
i need to do some more looking around. no matter what my new bike will be in the end, i will be so much more faster than i am now, anyway. i'm riding andreas mountain bike ride now, and i need only half the time to get to the gym than with the fucked up bike that is my own.

"money/money/money/must be funny/in a rich man's world/aaaaaaaaah/all the things i could do/if i had a little money/in a rich man's world"

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tina sat at the internet cafe on wednesday. tina from graz.

it was the quite an underwhelming experience, because she's been in town for 10 days already, with no contact. great.
i have doubts we'll get in touch while she is here. - she simply didn't seem too keen.
i got majorly upset that night. had it all stored up nicely, until i overworked myself at the gym with back-to-back spinning and pump classes. i nearly fell off the bike during spinning, and seriously don't remember how i got home, as under-sugared as i was. i got home, and cried. go me.
this is worse than any relationship break up i've ever been through.

also on wednesday: there won't be any friendship blooming between me and nadia, as she's moving away october 1st. more being under-whelmed.

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in much better news, alex, one of the american blokes whom i met at the tour de france visited last week, and we had a fabulous time.
i don't think i've had a conversation of this quality with anyone (besides dirk) in a good long while. we sat on münsterplatz drinking whine, and we could almost see the ears of the people sitting next to us growing larger and larger as they realised that what we talking about was not iraq in general, but alex's experiences there.
we stayed out till midnight talking and chatting and drinking and alex stayed the night at andreas empty flat. fun was had by all.
it will be repeated, i think.

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apart from that, life's alright. not great. not bad. kinda in-between. i need to study, as always, and i have trouble staying motivated, as always. i wish i had more time.
i haven't found the time to reply to email in a week. sorry, you. i will. promise.

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i've only seen two other people wearing live strong wristbands.
when we've passed each other in the street, at the gym, we smiled at each other, broadly, like members of a secret elite club.
lovely.

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i haven't bought any marmite. the hallucinations have arrived. fat kids and flying toasts accompanied by the "happy little vegemite" song, just like predicted.

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this is life right now.