Monday, June 21, 2004

unicafe kiss-a-thon.

last night, as i was preparing dinner, dirk rushed into my flat.

"you got to see this. i've never seen something like this before."


"there is this couple downstairs at the cafe, right below my window. they've been sitting there for a few hours, just talking, and then about 15 minutes ago, they started kissing, and they have not stopped once to breathe! i swear, not once!"

so yeah, voyeurs that we are, we hurried downstairs into dirk's flat, raising the blinds to sneak a look.

and sure enough, they were still kissing, sitting on two different chairs, leaning towards each other.
they were kissing without actually pausing for breath. or moving their heads. or moving at all, for that matter. it was funnny to look at.

they were young, the girl maybe 15, the boy maybe 18.
and it was awful kissing. god, it was awful kissing. like watching a trainwreck, or roadkill or a press conference by george w. bush.

it looked as if the bloke was to blame, a total looser at pushing his awful kissing technique on a girl. i don't have enough negative superlatives to express how awful it was to look at, that kissing, from a technical point of view.
you know, it was not sensual, exploring, tongue suckling kissing: it was the jaw grinding kind. rhythmical, fast jaw grinding. like chewing, really, in synch. at a rate of 45 chews a minute.
think calfes sucking on udders. or something.

it looked unsexy. and unenjoyable, too.
i think it was thanks to that awful technique that they didn't have to stop for breath.
but still, dirk and i, we couldn't stop watching, because awful kissing or not, they were still going at it without pausing. their endurance had some romantic appeal, chewing or not.

"maybe they are actually trying out for a kiss-a-thon, or something?", dirk wondered.

it was funny, really, us being so amused by their awful but enduring kissing.
we looked down on the strangely kissing couple, being happy for them for their apparently successful first date. and sad for them, for their awful kissing technique. - not that that bad technique seemed to dull their enthusiam.
i pondered aloud what the girl could do about the bloke being such a bad kisser anyway: at 15, one can hardly pull away and shriek "yuk!" after the first awful kiss on a first date. why not go along, trying to improve his technique? - not that it looked like she tried very hard tp push against his evil kissing technique.

i felt a little old, a little bit odd, being amused by bad, but enthusiastic public displays of affection. it's been more than a year since i had a first date with first time kissing, and while that kissing was a whole different league than that we could observe down there at the cafe, i missed it, the excitement of first date kisses.

after several minutes of watching the non-stop-kissing-chewing, one of us lowered the blinds and dirk and i quit the voyeurism.

and we kissed, standing in the middle of dirk's flat (no chewing involved), and i realised i am not missing out on anything, with not having first dates and first date kisses in my life right now. because one year after our first date, and our first kiss on augustinerplatz (a frightened little kiss it was, all exploring and sensual and wondering, the first first kiss in four years, and no chewing involved either), the two of us, we still kissing exceptionally well. :)