Saturday, June 05, 2004


i'm not just tired: i'm totally exhausted.
from doing nothing. nothing it all.

there is so much to be done though, that it's totally overwhelming me today. laundry. household chores. some shopping. just *things*. with my ocd in overdrive, i can't even look at anything (the floor, the kitchen, the bathroom) without being disgusted, feeling an overwhelming urge to clean, yet being overwhelmed by the amount that needs to be done.
to top everything off, it's grey and rainy, outside. so grey and rainy that all i want to do is hide beneath my blankets and sleep.

i know that once i start, once i turn on some good music and get going it will be better, but right now it feels monumental, this little bit of cleaning this little flat.
it's ridiculous.

and all just because i feel lonely.