Tuesday, February 04, 2003

i am well aware that 2003 is already a month old, but considering i've been on a mission to consolidate life, writing down some goals & wishes seems like a good step. who cares about being late?

{physical} i want to look after myself better and keep having a healthy, active lifestyle - all year round. this is two-fold, it involves both better nutrition and working out. i will make an effort to eat more regularly and higher quality food, especially more (and new) veges. regarding working out, i want to keep improving both stamina, strength and flexibility. i will seek assistance and guidance in setting a new routine for me. i will attempt to not let the scale or my body fat percentage rule my happiness. i want to feel loving feelings for my body.
i will keep donating blood and get regular check ups.

{mental} i will make an effort to use therapy to its fullest potential, attend regular sessions, and be honest with my therapist. i will work on my relationship with my parents and attempt to stop avoiding the rough stuff.
i want to built more self-esteem and self-worth, and let go of some of the obsessive compulsive streaks of my personality. i want to get over my anxieties and helplessness. i want to recognize the warning signs of my depression, and ask for help when it gets rough.
i will keep practising yoga, and find a new teacher, to get more regular practise.
i want to nurture the few friendships that i have, and meet more people. i want and need to built a strong support net for myself again, as i can not and should not rely on my relationship alone.
i want to be less judgmental in contact with other people, especially women, and try to actually get to know *them*. my goal is to turn off the voice of the beauty myth in my head.

{relationship} it's gonna be a year of big changes for evan and me. these changes scare me a lot. - i want try to trust in us more and relax more, and want us both to continue being a team. i want us to start making real, definite plans together and decide together on the best way for me to immigrate. i want to be more open towards him, without fearing rejection. i want to stop comparing myself to women who are closer to evan, and trust in his love of me. i will try to not start doubting him and us as soon as there is a bump in the road. - my worries, expectations and self-doubts poison our relationship. i want to continue being there for evan and find a balance between both our needs and wants, and let go of my position more often. i want to be patient and helpful in this time of change for evan, and keep listening to his needs. my most immediate goal is to improve our communication while apart, and find a communication schedule that fits both of us.

{educational} i want to finally finish my law degree this year, and move on. i want to keep a strong connection to my melbourne law firm to secure a job for next year, and decide on a university and course (and how to pay for it).

{financial} i want to start being in control of my money issues. this includes actually having a real budget and paying bills as they turn up. it also involves attempting to start saving, and looking into ways to finance my move & continueing education.

in short: i want to be a better person.