Tuesday, November 05, 2002

i don't like this town much at the moment. i feel isolated, and all i can think about is leaving: how many days, hours, seconds until i get to board the cathay pacific flight to melbourne, whether things i purchase now will last until i prepare to head off, whether i will manage to be the shape i want to be in when i leave et al.

quite silly. i am well aware that i am making the now worse by being so focused on the future. very un-eckart tolle. there are things i need to do now, things i need to deal with now, appointments i should make and talks i should have, but all i think about is how to make time fly by, how to avoid people, how to make myself look good within the next 30 days, how to get to gym as often as possible, how to just get over the next 30-something days, and quickly and effectively and efficiently, too.

nanowrimo-ing is part of that avoidance and time wasting. while i am 5 days behind (no way to write while i was still with the parents) and will hence have to my novel "eclipse" at 2.000 words a day for the next 25 days, i am quite positive about it. what a way to waste time. perfect.
quite odd to see my characters come to life: one minute ago, they weren't there, and now they've been pixellated into word, they are suddenly opening up and telling me about their past and present, and their wishes and who they've been to bed with. he. funky.