Friday, October 26, 2001

I have developed an aural fixation.

It's the voice of german actor Ben Becker. Blame it on my watching of Frau2 sucht HappyEnd twice within one weekend; a movie in which he not only sings (in an effort to promote his own band) but plays a radio dj, and hence with lots of voice fixated things: voice overs, close ups of his mouth close to a mic, slow cigarette lighting....
Blame it on me buying the CD from the movie, featuring two of his songs, and skits from the film, including that awesome first sequence when Becker introduces Tim Hardin's "How can we hang on to a dream", denouncing love.

So Beckers voice, yes. It's very deep. Husky. Used. That voice would make one certain spot next to my spine tickle if someone spoke close to my ear, better yet whispered or commanded with it, would make me fluttery in the stomach and weak in my knees. It's a very powerful voice, very physical in a way, connected with his weird rough looks as a strawberry blonde and his "evil chap" attitude. It's a voice for nighttime, for darkness, for intimacy.
Becker doesn't sing, rather speak to an acid-jazz-type music with heavy guitars added into it, with poetic words, some of them invented and changed, yet overly suitable. It's nighttime music, driving music, or music in which dramatic things would happen.
And it just hits me completely, the intensity of that music and that voice.
Rough and tough and a bit rude, yet sensible - and above all: wanting. His voice transfers all of it. I swear.

I guess I am just a bit vulnerable to aural fixation because having some private and intense and wanting and urgent words being spoken close to my ear would open up a lot inside me. Maybe even awake my dead libido?

So excuse me why I am off to listen to "Engel wie wir" on repeat and at top volume. I wish I had some good headphones just so that I could indulge more privately, with that voice closer to my ear.